Explaining the couple's dramatic exit from royal life, Meghan said she was denied help during her mental health crisis, was targeted by lies, and that there was official concern about the skin color of her unborn son.
Meghan, whose father is white and mother is Black, spoke out in an interview with Oprah Winfrey that immediately became one of the most extraordinary chapters in recent royal history and was set to rock the British institution.
"I... just didn't want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought," she told Winfrey.
Asked if she was having suicidal thoughts, Meghan replied "Yes. This was very, very clear."
Recalling how she felt at the time, she said that "I'm scared, because this is very real. This isn't some abstract idea. This is methodical, and this is not who I am."
Meghan, 39, also told of royal "concerns" about "how dark" her son's skin would be, saying Harry revealed to her official concerns over Archie's appearance, as well as the security he would be entitled to, ahead of his birth on May 6, 2019.
"In those months when I was pregnant... we have in tandem the conversation of 'he won't be given security, he's not going to be given a title' and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he's born," Meghan told Winfrey.
After the couple's surprise decision to move to North America, the former television actress has been portrayed in some British newspapers as headstrong, calculating and spoiled, and the couple reckless and selfish for quitting royal life.
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