Veteran Nollywood actress, Dupe Jayesim, has opened up about her struggles with childlessness and how it has impacted her life.
The 61-year-old disclosed this in a recent interview on Talk2B podcast.
Jayesimi, who got married on October 22, 1988, revealed that she was pregnant at the time of her wedding but lost the baby weeks later. She mentioned that several attempts to bear a child failed and this led to serious trouble in her marriage.
The film star disclosed that her ex-husband’s absence during critical moments further complicated their efforts to conceive, ultimately leading to the collapse of their marriage. Jayesimi said her ex-husband’s girlfriend who was pregnant, moved into his apartment just two weeks after their separation, leaving her depressed and turning to alcohol for solace.
“I got married on October 22, 1988. I had been practicing theatre, and the person I married knew about it at the time and was not upset. However, his job required him to be available for two weeks and then unavailable for the next two weeks.
In our marriage, we did not have a child, although I entered the marriage pregnant. I lost the pregnancy weeks into the wedding. Since then, we have done a lot of tests. At one point, I was told they would perform a procedure where they would open me up, and if my husband had intercourse with me, I would become pregnant. We went ahead with the procedure, but my husband did not show up until three months later.
When he returned, I became angry. He asked why I was angry and said I should have moved out if I was tired of the marriage. By then, we were already five years into the marriage. There were rumors that my life was in danger, so I had to leave.
Two weeks after I left the marriage, he brought in another woman who was pregnant. The situation left me so depressed that I started drinking alcohol at the time.” he said
The veteran actress mentioned that she later met an older man and had an affair with him. She stated that they tried doing IVF twice but both procedures did not fall through. She mentioned that she had considered adoption but her mother vehemently opposed it.
“I had initially decided that I would not get married again until I met an Alhaji who was like a father to me. I wished I had met him before my failed marriage. We tried IVF twice, but it did not work.
When I was about 40, I got pregnant but did not know it at the time. I used to feel pain in my abdomen and went to the hospital for tests and scans. I was told I was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. After the procedure, I have not been able to get pregnant since.
I left the marriage with the Alhaji when his first wife started having issues with him. I considered adoption, but my mother said she would kill any child I adopted. I left Alhaji about 15 years ago.
Since then, I have not had a child. I am not someone who broods over issues, and I would never consider suicide. I know God’s time will come for me.
Jayesimi also talked about how she cared for children of those around her but they later abandoned her.
She said her younger sister’s daughter was well taken care of by her but when it was time for her niece to get married, the mother (her younger sister) asked her not to sit at a particular place. She said her sister said she didn’t care what Jayesimi had done for her daughter as the actress is just her aunt and not her mother.
Jayesimi said she remains hopeful and resilient, expressing gratitude for her career and the children she has raised.
“When I think about the things I have done—the children I have raised, hoping they would take care of me, but they did not—I am grateful that God blessed me with this job. So, I do not dwell on these things, and I will not. The only thing I want now is to have a child I can take everywhere, one that people will associate with my name. If I had been away from my parents for long, I would have adopted a child.” she said
